so I just ride;I have a hard time relating to people, I'm not ashamed to say it. Everyone my age is out doing amazing things and constantly hanging out with friends and having the time of their lives, as they should. For me, that is not my life. My life is focusing on school work and taking care of my dogs. I don't go out with my friends, nor do I even text anyone. I'm pretty sure my phone has been dead for at least three days. You know how girls always say "I'm not like any other girl" blah blah blah. Well in my case it's true. I don't say that with the intention of getting compliments, being cliche, hate or much less pity. I see it in a negative yet positive way. I know I'm no catch. A guy won't meet me and be like, "oh my god, you are so awesome, I'm so lucky to have someone like you. Let's get married, yeah?" No. Listen, it's not that I hate myself but I'm being realistic. I don't drive or even have my permit yet (eh hem... I'm 21 years old) I don't have a job and I've got so much personal things going on in my life that I need to take care of. I don't mind, though. I'm no triple threat. I'm not a dead beat or anything, there are certain reasons that none of this stuff has happened for me yet. I will get there eventually, but until then I don't intend on dragging anyone into this crazy life with me. I think it's something that I need to figure out on my own. I need to reinvent myself. I need to do a bit of damage control. Being single isn't the end of the world, I see it as a blessing. I can completely focus on school and myself. It's refreshing. I've had 3 live in boyfriends. It's nearly impossible to juggle everything in my life while trying to maintain a healthy relationship. I'll get there someday.
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Well... maybe she can but unlike most, I am a big fan of her videos.Miley Cyrus has cause major controversy due to her crazy behavior and her explicit music videos. Yes, I think she can be a little obnoxious at times, but when it comes to her music videos I just can't get enough. Maybe it's the artsy person inside of me who appreciates a breath of fresh creativity to her music videos or maybe it's the filmmaker inside of me. I couldn't begin to explain. No matter who you are, you need to put your trend police ego aside and admit that she has made an amazing decisions in directors for her music videos. It's cinematic heaven. Yes, she's super sexual in her videos, but before you point your hateful finger at her take a look at your own life. Everyone goes through phases. I'm just happy there's a girl out there who is confident enough to strut her stuff on camera. A lot of people find this taboo. Everyone can't handle the fact that she's an ex-disney channel celeb who's twerking. Let me tell you, if I had her body I might do the same. In a filmmaker's eyes the "We Can't Stop" music video is amazing. The editing and visual effects done in this video is genius. It's just like she wanted, it look just like a glam L.A. party. Cyrus' new music video, directed by the creepy but talented Terry Richardson, is one of my favorite music videos, cinematically, that I've seen all year (Besides Panic! At The Disco's This Is Gospel & of course Miss Gaga's Applause video). It's very creative and full of emotional undertone. Everyone has something to say because she swings around on the wrecking ball nude, in reality it represents how vulnerable she is with love, and that sledge hammer she makes out with, meaning some of us just get use to loving the pain. I don't care who you are, you need to take a deep breath and just appreciate that Hannah Montana is all grown up and actually making great decisions with her career. No matter if you love it or hate it her name is leaving your mouth which is exactly what she is aiming to do. "I feel like most people take advantage of what is going on in the moment. They don't ever stop to think about how goddamn beautiful life is, right now. Every single moment you are spending with somebody will someday become an almost vacant memory. You need be happy. That's what I tell people. It doesn't matter how much money you have, what tragedies that you've met, or how mean people can be, you need to do everything in your power to be happy. Without happiness, your life is nothing. You're trapped in an everyday struggle with trying to figure out what their purpose on this planet is. The key to finding it out is for you to just be happy. There's too much beauty to quit." "When someone you care about is no longer around, the feeling can be suffocating. The things that remind you of that person are everywhere you look, it's endless. Sometimes you catch yourself trying to call them and then you stop yourself. They're not on the other end. They'll never be again. The truth hurts the worst. It's what you do with the truth that will determine how you will survive the cycle. Me? I hate the truth. I choose to believe that he is still here with me. I want to keep him alive in my mind, because if I don't he'll be gone forever." I hate the truth. The truth is one thing that can change your life in an instant. I choose to continue to believe that he is still here with me. I choose to believe that one day I will see him smiling back at me. I choose to believe that every time our song comes on my iTunes when I have it on shuffle it's because he put it on. It always happens when I'm sad or I'm on a down-spiral. It always cheers me up and it makes me feel loved. I choose to believe that when I'm in the car at night and his name flashes through my mind, it's because he's there with me enjoying driving fast down our favorite road.
I choose to believe he's still here with me, because it gives me hope. It gives me the hope I need to know that I'll be okay. No matter what happens in my life that I'm okay. - Five ways to win your heart. 1. Love my Old English Sheepdogs 2. Love Doctor Pepper. 3. Watch movies all night with me. 4. Never compromise my emotions 5. Love my family. - Something you feel strongly about. I feel strongly about breaking the stigma on mental illness. - A book you love. I adore the "Existence" trilogy. Judge me. - Things you want to say to an ex. Thank you for at least giving love a try with me and I know we tried the best we could. I hope that you're in a good place now and I hope nothing but the best for you in your life. Sorry it couldn't work out. I know I'm hard to get along with sometimes. Thank you for being apart of my story and helping me figure out what it is that I'm searching for in life. <3 - Five pet peeves. 1. When people rub their fingers together with a napkin. 2. The sound when girls file down their nails. 3. Rude people. 4. Not being cold. 5. The sound when two wet towels rub together. - Put your music on shuffle and write the first ten songs. 1. Hold The Door - Armor For Sleep 2. Emily - From First To Last 3. This Love - Ellie Goulding 4. White Blank Page - Mumford & Sons 5. Waiting Alone - Shiny Toy Guns 6. Finger Twist & Split - Cute Is What We Aim For 7. Last Night (Vegas) - Breathe Carolina 8. Here With Me - The Killers 9. This Is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco 10. Neuzeit - I Heart Sharks - Five guys whom you find attractive. 1. Zach Galifinakis 2. Gabriel Mann 3. Sebu Simonian 4. James Dean 5. Any guy with a beard who is chubby - Something that you always think "What if..." about. Probably High School. I always wonder what if I would have strayed away from the path I was down and didn't make the choices I made. - Something that you're proud of. Being 21 & over 3 years sober. - Five items you lust after. 1. Movies 2. Doctor Pepper 3. My Sony FS100 4. Books 5. Jewelry ( the cheap stuff gaudy stuff) - Your fears. Heights - not being happy - disappointing my parents - losing someone I love - letting someone into my crazy life. - Something that you miss. Not having a care in the world - having someone to cuddle with - Stanley as a puppy - Something you're currently worrying about. My meeting next week and getting my homework done tonight - A quote you try to live by. "Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you." - Somewhere you'd want to move or visit. Ireland. - Five weird things about you. 1. I can wiggle my ears 2. I have to sleep with the TV on 3. I don't drive 4. I've never been in love before - One thing you're excited for. Falling in love someday. I've fallin in love with the idea of starting somewhere new.I always get lost inside the thoughts in my head; daydreaming the days away. I've always adored the idea of just leaving and going somewhere new where nobody knows my name and possibilities become endless. Everybody says that they want to leave this town, but rarely does anybody go. I find myself wondering if everyone is just stuck on the same idea that I am. I wonder if everyone is just as afraid as I am of change and moving on.
I've moved on way too many times in my life with different people, different places, and different things. It's almost like you never feel safe with where you are or what you have because you know that one of these days you're going to get sidelined out of nowhere and have to move on from the things you love today. Change is inevitable. It's the structure of life. Without change, our lives would be boring, we wouldn't have any stories to tell. I just hope that in 20 years when I look back at my life I can say that I did everything in my power to be happy. That I never let money become the soul purpose that I lived the way I did. I just hope that I look back at all of the people who have been there for me and smile at the craziness that has become my life. & when I'm 80 years old, I just want to be filled with stories, both good and bad, that I can laugh at with whoever is still by my side. I want a good life. All I want is to be happy. I know that in order for this to become true I need to stop being so damn afraid of change and moving on. I need to embrace it. I need to stay positive and always only think good things of myself. I need to know that whatever choices I make will forever be the k I kept asking Clarence why our world seemed to be collapsing and everything seemed so shitty. And he’d say, “that’s just the way it goes, but don’t forget, it goes the other way too.” That’s the way romance is… Usually, that’s the way it goes, but every once in awhile, it goes the other way too” I've been off my movie binge for awhile now, due to school and other personal reasons, but I'm back and I've missed it more than ever. I relapsed with one a movie that's in my top 1o favorite movies of all time; True Romance. If you've never seen this movie, please do yourself and your life a favor and watch it, own it, love it. Thanks to my future bother-in-law, I am now that proud owner of the special collector's edition. The filmmaker inside me is extremely happy. The special features include an alternate ending, the script, and a commentary that includes all of story boards that Tony Scott drew through-out the movie. I know, totally boring to most of you, but for me it's gold. Obviously with any movie written by Mr. Tarantino, the dialogue in this movie is amazing. Enough said. Lady Gaga reaches out to one direction after they got booed off of the 2013 vma stage after winning the moon man for best song of the summer. You'll more than likely be the first one to tell me that I have an obsession with Lady Gaga and I'll tell you you're right, sort of. I love her music, of course, but what draws me to like Lady Gaga so much is who she is as a real person. A lot of people don't see her as a normal human being with feelings, they see her as a pop star who has millions of dollars and wears crazy outfits and "tries too hard" to stand out. That, my friends, is where you are wrong. I could go off writing you a novel about why people can't stand people who stand out and do crazy things, so I'll keep this short. In Gaga's defense, she is just being who she is. People don't like it because she's standing out and is letting the world see that you don't have to be a sheep in this society. It's okay to be who you are. It's okay not to look gorgeous all the time and it's okay to be a little crazy and have fun. I found myself thinking about this. What gets people so damn upset is that when people see someone, like Gaga, who stands out they immediately go into this state where they have harsh feelings towards that person only because deep down inside it's the fear of becoming irrelevant that has them making themselves out to be hateful people. I will be the first one to tell you that I'm not the biggest fan of One Direction, I don't hate them like most people automatically do for some reason, I just am not into their style of music. That being said, I don't care how much I dislike an artist, it's never okay to boo them off the stage. They work damn hard to get to where they are, they are real people just like you and I. When you pick apart those people and create this hate, it's one of the most awful things you could do. If you got awarded something so amazing for something you are so passionate about, would you want others to pronounce in front of a crowd how much they dislike that you were awarded that, telling you that you don't deserve such an achievement? Nobody wants that. What Lady Gaga did is one of the most amazing things I've seen her do. She dropped everything, like enjoying her seat at the VMA's, to get up and be that person to say something and to try and ease the sting from One Direction. It takes a lot to do that. You can just feel her passion when you hear her talking to the boys from the UK. I think there should be more people like that in the world. As much hate Gaga gets, she's a pretty strong person. She stands for a lot more than the clothes she wears and the money in her bank. I wish people would start opening their eyes instead of judging others so quickly. ;don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you. Q; Can you ever be "just friends" with an ex?▽Answer; Yes & No. T H I S L O V E Listen, I've had a lot of potential relationships and a couple of the real deal relationships. Am I friends with any of my exes? Not really. I am friends with some of the potential relationships (ie: those silly 2 month 'try and fail' relationships) just because we realized that being friends was a lot better than trying to continue down the road to hell that we created. So, it was mutual and I praise them every time I see them happy with another girl. I am genuinely happy that they are happy. So this is the yes part. There is a great chance that you will be able to establish a friendship out of an almost lover that ended on good terms. Hell, I call some of my almosts with relationship questions and they do the same. Sometimes it just works. A L M O S T L O V E R S With that being said, there are those almost lovers that have compromised your emotions in a way that makes you look at them as a different person. You got hurt. You got lead on. You got cheated on. RED FLAG - Delete those horrible people off every social media site and delete those 10 digits out of your smart phone. These people didn't care about you to the potential you could have been cared about at the time when you were giving your all. They don't deserve the 20 minutes of initial sadness you will feel. They do deserve the eternal grudge that will attach itself to that person, but take it easy. You don't need to go tell the world about how horrible they are. My father has always told me, "never let them know what you're thinking." There's something smart in that. Every person on this planet wants to be thought about in some way, good or bad, so don't give that to them. LET ME BE BLUNT - you two will never be friends. How they made you feel will forever attach itself to that person. It's over; dunzo. Move on. F I R S T L O V E I don't mean to be super blunt when it comes to this, but do not ever let yourself believe you can be just friends with a first love. Ever. Ever. Ever. That one person helped shape who you are today. They taught you lessons and they pushed and pulled your emotions and beliefs into a lose lose tug of war fight. You figured out what you want out of life and better yet what you deserve out of life from this person. They are a special part of your life. That one person you won't ever forget and in some sad cases, the one that got away. BUT MELISSA, WHY WON'T THIS WORK OUT? You know this person inside and out. You've shared so many good memories and in most cases some not so good memories. You love them for their flaws and for the way they smiled at you the night you had your first kiss with them. THAT DOESN'T SOUND SO BAD - It's toxic. Those feelings of a first love is scared into your heart. It won't go away. Jealousy and bad intentions are what flair up from such a past relationship. The what if's begin to surface and that new person that they're taking pictures with and posting all over social media just fuels this fire. A friendship is doomed with your first love. I'm sorry to tell you this. You deserve better and someone refreshing. Drama free. Someone who is on the same level as you. Someone you can share new memories with. At the end of the day it's very hard to determine if you can be just friends with an ex. It all comes down to the type of ex that they are and the way the relationship ended. Make good choices. Keep your heart on lock. |
melissa von | 25 | lancaster | single mama | sober | positive vibes
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