"When someone you care about is no longer around, the feeling can be suffocating. The things that remind you of that person are everywhere you look, it's endless. Sometimes you catch yourself trying to call them and then you stop yourself. They're not on the other end. They'll never be again. The truth hurts the worst. It's what you do with the truth that will determine how you will survive the cycle. Me? I hate the truth. I choose to believe that he is still here with me. I want to keep him alive in my mind, because if I don't he'll be gone forever." I hate the truth. The truth is one thing that can change your life in an instant. I choose to continue to believe that he is still here with me. I choose to believe that one day I will see him smiling back at me. I choose to believe that every time our song comes on my iTunes when I have it on shuffle it's because he put it on. It always happens when I'm sad or I'm on a down-spiral. It always cheers me up and it makes me feel loved. I choose to believe that when I'm in the car at night and his name flashes through my mind, it's because he's there with me enjoying driving fast down our favorite road.
I choose to believe he's still here with me, because it gives me hope. It gives me the hope I need to know that I'll be okay. No matter what happens in my life that I'm okay.
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melissa von | 25 | lancaster | single mama | sober | positive vibes
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October 2016
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