I made myself from all of the love you no longer wanted.

Been trying hard not to get into trouble but I've got a war in my mind.

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so I just ride;

I have a hard time relating to people, I'm not ashamed to say it. Everyone my age is out doing amazing things and constantly hanging out with friends and having the time of their lives, as they should. For me, that is not my life. My life is focusing on school work and taking care of my dogs. I don't go out with my friends, nor do I even text anyone. I'm pretty sure my phone has been dead for at  least three days.

You know how girls always say "I'm not like any other girl" blah blah blah. Well in my case it's true. I don't say that with the intention of getting compliments, being cliche, hate or much less pity. I see it in a negative yet positive way. I know I'm no catch. A guy won't meet me and be like, "oh my god, you are so awesome, I'm so lucky to have someone like you. Let's get married, yeah?" No.

Listen, it's not that I hate myself but I'm being realistic. I don't drive or even have my permit yet (eh hem... I'm 21 years old) I don't have a job and I've got so much personal things going on in my life that I need to take care of. I don't mind, though. I'm no triple threat. I'm not a dead beat or anything, there are certain reasons that none of this stuff has happened for me yet. I will get there eventually, but until then I don't intend on dragging anyone into this crazy life with me. I think it's something that I need to figure out on my own. I need to reinvent myself. I need to do a bit of damage control. 

Being single isn't the end of the world, I see it as a blessing. I can completely focus on school and myself. It's refreshing. I've had 3 live in boyfriends. It's nearly impossible to juggle everything in my life while trying to maintain a healthy relationship. 


I'll get there someday. 

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