So there's been a lot going on in my life right now. I met someone. He makes me the happiest girl in the entire world. So that happened. He just brings out the best in me. It's crazy how quickly life happens and how your entire idea of what the world means can change with one single encounter. I adore his flaws and crazy past and he adores mine. I feel alive again. He has taught me so much about life and I see the beauty of waking up in the morning and having someone to look forward to seeing.
On the other hand, being so into someone scares me. If someday he were to be taken away from my life I don't know if I could handle it. I never think about it that way. I love going through the motions and seeing the beauty vs the negative. One day at a time. As of now I am a happy girl. Drama free with a man that adores each minute that he has with me.
Yes, it's that kinda night.
So I really shouldn't be blogging right now because my homework (that is halfway done) is due to be submitted in less than one hour. I just haven't been on here in awhile and it's one of those nights where I'm just overthinking every detail in my life. I decided to re activate my Facebook account this morning because I needed to message this girl from school because I forgot her contact info. I don't like facebook much because whenever I'm on it I just get anxiety for whatever reason, so this will be temporary. I think that's why I'm overthinking everything. I think I just like my privacy and I like not seeing people post their lives while I'm still getting mine together from my addiction and other things.
Plus, some of my ex's are still friends with me on facebook, the ones that ended well at least. Don't me wrong I'm so happy that they're doing amazing in their lives and found things and people that make them happy but there's a part inside of me that just thinks, "Damn. That could have been me. I could have still been that girl that he thought about all day long" I know that sounds stupid and selfish but it overwhelms me from time to time. They're doing so well (at least they try to seem like they're doing well on social media) and I'm just here.
My sister and best friend both have these guys their talking to and they keep swapping stories and laughing and smiling and I can't help but miss that.
There is no better feeling in the world than knowing that there is someone out there thinking about you and missing you. I miss that. I miss the "I miss you" texts and the random funny pictures or videos. It's one of those things that will happen when it happens but this whole waiting for fate thing is getting old. Ranting. Sorry. I'm so tired. I need to finish this script. So good night loves!