Anyone who knows me knows that I've never been in love before. I've felt love for boyfriends, but never been head over heels, can't imagine my life without you kind of love. I can tell you what I do love. I love pictures I have with ex-boyfriends. I think it's because I look happy, because I was. It's not a creepy "I miss you so much omg" type of thing. I just love how damn happy I look. I miss that. I mean if you took away the bullshit and difficult situations I was so happy. I think there's something amazing in being so close with someone like that. That one person you text first when something crazy happens, or to say good morning and goodnight. The one person who you confide in with your secrets and have trust that they'll keep it hidden within them. I do miss being in a relationship. The boyfriend above I decided to "attempt" to keep his identity unknown. It's not that we're on bad terms or anything. We're just nothing. We're not friends, we're not enemies, we've just become strangers. I think that's the saddest thing in a relationship. When your best friend, the person you're so close to all of a sudden becomes a person you know nothing about. I will FOREVER care about each one of my serious boyfriends. I hate holding grudges and feeling hate towards someone who you use to care about. I try to be mature and take it as it is and understand that it just didn't work. There's only one serious boyfriend who I have harsh feelings towards. I hate it but he decided to betray our post relationship friendship and he decided to be immature. He's into drugs again and hanging around the wrong crowd the last time I heard. I do wish him well even though I don't very much care for him. I think that's the craziest thing about relationships; emotions. Emotions are powerful things. If you use them in the wrong situations then it can destroy lives. But if you use them in the perfect situations then it can change your life for the better. If put in the wrong hands in the wrong situations, it's like a ticking time bomb. You need know whens the right time to give your heart away. I've chosen horrible times, obviously. I know better now. It will happen when it happens. Being patient with fate is getting old, but I'll play this game.
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This is what happens when I'm left home alone for two hours. "So la di da di, we like to party, dancing with 'Miley'" This song is going to be forever stuck in my head & I know she pokes towards saying "dancing with Molly" aka the drug aka just say what you mean, girl! & she sings about getting "so turned up" by a line in a bathroom aka cocaine. Everyone is freaking out about this. Whatever guys, seriously. We all have had a specific time in our lives where we've pushed the limits a little too far. People just have this fear of becoming irrelevant which I think has a lot to do with the Miley Cyrus song & Video chaos that has consumed the world wide web. Whenever someone stands out, other people get all panic-y and freak out about blah blah blah because they have boring lives and love to judge others but get crushed when others judge them. Just do you and let everyone else do them. It's really not the end of the world. So Miley has a fake grill and is air humping on the bed, tell me what you were like in college and I ensure you that the roles are basically equal. We all do things when we're young to find ourselves. Don't judge someone just because they sin differently than you. Let the bitch have fun! |
melissa von | 25 | lancaster | single mama | sober | positive vibes
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October 2016
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