I miss missing you now and again I think missing someone is one of the best bittersweet feelings you can have. It's so powerful and holds such deep rooted feelings. Eventually, if you are no longer in contact with that person you get this feeling of missing the feeling of missing them. I get that. It's not that I 100% miss that person, I miss that crazy feeling of caring about someone so much that they don't leave your mind. They're the cause of random smiles through out your otherwise boring day. They're the reason you're constantly checking your phone just to see if they took the time out of their day to text or call you. They're the reason you sing under your breath and the reason you wear your favorite perfume. That feeling eventually dulls as time goes by with little or no contact. There's only so much your mind and your heart can handle. You begin to just miss that feeling of caring for someone so much. You miss that intense feeling you got in your stomach every time that person said your name or gave you a compliment. The feeling of that person holding your hand in a crowded room and knowing that they have made the choice to let every one know you have their heart. I miss that. I wish I had that again. I'm so busy dealing with the personal things in my life, let alone school and two crazy sheepdogs. I don't think it would be fair of me to get into something with someone because knowing me I'm not going to be there for them as much as they'd like me to. I think I'm meant to be single right now so I can put school first. It sounds like an excuse for being insecure that I'm single, right? haha. No, but it does sound like that and it's nothing like that. I know I wouldn't allow myself to miss someone right now. There's too much going on in my head right now to deal with someone else's emotions and being mentally there for them. Someday.
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melissa von | 25 | lancaster | single mama | sober | positive vibes
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October 2016
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