Yes, it's that kinda night.
So I really shouldn't be blogging right now because my homework (that is halfway done) is due to be submitted in less than one hour. I just haven't been on here in awhile and it's one of those nights where I'm just overthinking every detail in my life. I decided to re activate my Facebook account this morning because I needed to message this girl from school because I forgot her contact info. I don't like facebook much because whenever I'm on it I just get anxiety for whatever reason, so this will be temporary. I think that's why I'm overthinking everything. I think I just like my privacy and I like not seeing people post their lives while I'm still getting mine together from my addiction and other things.
Plus, some of my ex's are still friends with me on facebook, the ones that ended well at least. Don't me wrong I'm so happy that they're doing amazing in their lives and found things and people that make them happy but there's a part inside of me that just thinks, "Damn. That could have been me. I could have still been that girl that he thought about all day long" I know that sounds stupid and selfish but it overwhelms me from time to time. They're doing so well (at least they try to seem like they're doing well on social media) and I'm just here.
My sister and best friend both have these guys their talking to and they keep swapping stories and laughing and smiling and I can't help but miss that.
There is no better feeling in the world than knowing that there is someone out there thinking about you and missing you. I miss that. I miss the "I miss you" texts and the random funny pictures or videos. It's one of those things that will happen when it happens but this whole waiting for fate thing is getting old. Ranting. Sorry. I'm so tired. I need to finish this script. So good night loves!