RICHARD ALCOTT - So I know that you're new to the blogging world and I have to say it is very unique! I want to ask what exactly made you decide to start your own blog?
MELISSA VON - Thank you so much!! Well, I was going through a rough patch in my life and I decided to delete my facebook to essentially fall of the grid and to have my own time to think things through. I came to the decision that I didn't want to reactivate it because I really didn't want to see how "normal" people my age were living their lives out which lead to the idea of creating my own space where I can get what I want out and not have to live up to anyone except myself.
RA - What do you mean by normal people your age? What makes you so different?
MV - I don't mean to sound prude or that I'm above anybody because trust me, I'm not. What I mean to say is that when you're 21 years old it's suppose to be the time of your life. You're suppose to be at college and going to parties and hanging out with all your friends. That's what I mean by normal. When I was 15 years old I was living my life just like a normal 21 year old would. I was drinking every day and going to a million parties and making so many friends. I'm 21 now and over 3 years sober. I can't relate to people my own age because the bulk of them go to bars to hang out or they talk about the different friends they have and about their amazing jobs. I don't have any of that. I don't have a million friends to talk about anymore, I don't work. I just can't relate.
RA - Now just to get back on the topic of this Q&A, tell me about the best relationship you've been in?
MV - The best relationship I've had started out as a relationship but we ended up being very special friends and I hold that relationship above all my other romantic relationships. He was my best friend.
RA - What do you mean by special friends?
MV - *laughs* I don't mean friends with benefits if that's what you're trying to get at. What I mean is that we shared something that was true love between friends. It started out romantic but it wasn't until we became close friends that I fell in love with him as a person. He just took care of me. He was the only one who actually gave a shit about me and trying to break me of my bad habits. Special friends.
RA - Are you still special friends?
MV - Yes, in some ways. He passed away in 2010. It was unexpected and I had a hard time with it. He's still my special friend because I still talk to him all the time. He can't talk back to me, of course, but I know he's listening and still watching over me like he use to when he was still here.
RA - I'm so sorry to hear that Miss Von. How have relationships been for you since his passing?
MV - Relationships have been good and bad. He's not here to give me the loving advice he use to so I go into these things blind and sometimes not thinking at all, reckless with love. It's something that stems from the personal struggles I've dealt with. I'm blind and reckless with relationships. I have this need to always have someone there to catch me when I fall down or someone to call when I'm going through a downward cycle. It was tough to really get over that. I believe that whoever happens to be watching over me finally got it through my mind that I need to be independent.
RA - What are some of the reckless things that you found yourself doing when it came to relationships?
MV - Oh, god. Well for one I'm that girl that feels the need to pick guys who are broken. Whether it's problems with parents, drugs, family, money, you name it and I would of dated it because I felt like maybe for some reason that my positive streaks would reach them and make them all better. It doesn't work that way. I dealt with verbal abuse, the guys relapsing, cheating, or just not caring about me.
RA- What is something that you'd tell your readers to avoid the things you've dealt with?
MV - That you can't help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. It's impossible. I know you want to be that girl that can change that bad boy but you'll end up crying yourself to sleep every night. It's not pretty. I would say find someone who brings out the best in you and who has close to the same beliefs and passions as you do. You need to be on the same level as your partner or the house is going to crumble beneath your feet. Just be smart and take it slow. No live in boyfriends until you're 100% you're going to marry that man. Trust me, it's not like the movies.
RA - It's been a pleasure to speak with you, Melissa. Thank you.
MV - Thank you so much, Richard!! Much love to you.
© 2013 - Richard Alcott