I haven't been on here in awhile. I constantly do this thing where I just disappear for days on end from texts, social media, school. I de-activated my facebook once again. I've been texting a friend whom I've had forever and we were texting everyday, then I stopped replying. He kept trying to text me but I did the one thing I'm hell bent against; I ignored him. I hate that. It's just like something inside me just wanted to be left alone and I didn't want to talk to anybody.
I texted him back two days later and we talked like I didn't ignore him. I asked him if that upset him and he told me that he knows me and knows that I'll be all there one day and up for anything and then poof I disappear for days on end. I felt kind of taken back by this. I mean, yeah I'm in the wrong because being ignored is fucking awful, as my last post says, but I never really looked at myself as someone to be the person doing the ignoring. The feeling of being irrelevant overwhelms me sometimes. I'm a 10 on the introvert scale. I need that certain time of my day by myself to breathe and process everything that's going on around me.
I mean, yeah everyone has a tendency of ignoring people and things. I'm more of the person to ignore things than people, though. If I'm not a big fan of who you are then I'm going to be honest with you about that, I wouldn't just ignore you. I think that's what my friend was trying to tell me is that he knows I don't do it on purpose, it's just a habit of mine to do the whole "now you see me now you don't" bit. It's just one of those things in life, I guess. Deal with it and move on.