November has to be one of my favorite months and not just because my birthday is at the end of the month! I love the chilly weather and cuddling up inside a billion blankets. I love dressing up in layers and being creative with my outfits. I love how my family gets together and we catch up on what is happening in each of our lives. I really love looking forward to Christmas and decorating!
I think I love the idea of the end of the year because it inspires change. Everything is changing in so many ways. It's like it's the end of one chapter and you can't wait to read the next. I love that. Change has to be one thing I grew to love. I use to hate it. I avoided it at all cost. Now I invite it into my life with open arms. Change is something that is so important in my life. I'm forever changing and evolving and growing and learning. I am my best self each day that goes by.
I am so excited that it's finally getting cold. I dislike hot weather so much. I hate sweating and I hate when you can do almost nothing about being hot. I love cold because it's so easy to become warm. You just have to layer up and cuddle and drink hot chocolate! I'm looking forward to writing my New Years post about all the happenings of this year. This year has been probably the more easier year out of the past 5 years. Everybody says that each year was hard but in all honesty, the past 3 years were my worst. They were when I was trying to figure out where I fit into this life. I lost two people who I cared so much for. I had to get sober and get use to dealing with life without coating it up with alcohol and drugs. I quit my job and my social life to move into my grandfather's house to take care of him. I had to learn how to take care of someone who couldn't take care of themselves while trying to learn how to live life on my own. None of those things were easy. This year I was blessed with not having to deal with anything too crazy so far. It's been hard in some ways, but I've crawled home from worse than this.
I think I finally have a handle on my life. I have goals and dreams, finally. I know what I was put on this planet to do and I live each and everyday working towards that. That's an amazing feeling that I hope everyone eventually gets to. Just knowing your purpose for living. I use to not have a reason to live. I use to just run away from all the horrible events in my life and hope they went away on their own. Now I realized that you need to deal with horrible situations head on and with confidence. If there's someone in your life that is toxic to you then edit them out. You don't owe anyone anything. You owe it to yourself to just be happy. Surround yourself with people who have nothing but good things to say about you. People who you can call at 2am because you're crying and need someone to talk it out to. People who know your story and all the horrible happenings of your life and still love the shit out of you and people who have your back. Get rid of those people who you find yourself complaining to other people about. Why on earth would you have someone in your life that makes you gossip about them? It makes zero sense.
I've only ever had 3 really close friends. I only talk to one of them now. Sometimes when we evolve we evolve in a different way than the ones who we have come to trust. They will be forever your best friend but not in the way they use to be. My best friend in high school, I can tell you a billion crazy and happy stories about us and if you ask her she would do the same with a big smile on her face. Do we still talk? No. We grew in different ways. We usually text each other at the end of each year to check in to see how we're doing but it would never work further than that. She knew me back when I was at my worse self and loved me anyway. I grew into my best self and it's not the same person she remembers and vise versa. We will forever love each other but that's just life. I'll still be talking about stories of our adventures together when I'm 90 years old and laugh and smile. She is and always will be special to me as will my other best friend whom I don't speak with anymore.
Sorry for the novel of me blabbing about life, I'm just in one of those moods tonight. I do need to finish up some of my homework so I hope you all have an amazing night!