I'm a dreamer. I'm that girl that gets her hopes up even though time after time they are crushed. I'd rather be positive than negative. I want to see the good in everyone. The bad things are easier to believe but I rather start fresh with anyone I meet and delete the drama I've only heard about. When you think about it, you really wouldn't want someone who doesn't know you to judge you on your past. I know I wouldn't. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone is a fool at some point and everyone has had their hearts broken. It may be in different ways and different forms, but it's happened.
My past was so intense that I'm still feeling ripples of it to this day. When I'm getting to know someone new I always just want to tell them all of my bad so they can love me for my good. I don't want to be that false girl who puts up a front and only tells or shows the good parts of herself. I want someone to see the darkest part of me but still want to wake up next to me every morning.
I make my past sound like a monster when in reality it's not that bad. Compared to some people I got dealt an alright card but compared to my friends I'll always be "that girl." Forever. I'll be known to them as the survivor, the optimist, the nice person because when someone cares about you they only see the good in you. They look past the bad. I think there's something so beautiful in that.
With all that being said, I would never judge someone before I got to know them because I would not want to be judged for the mistakes and happenings of my past. I wouldn't want anyone listening to some ancient stupid rumor and make their plan around who they think I am off of that. That's not fair.
I've already gotten all the apologies I've needed for past rudeness. Everyone has a clean slate. That's how it should be. I'm not who I was 5 years ago and neither are you. I want someone to love me for who I am today than judge me for who I was 5 years ago. Amen.