Q; Can you ever be "just friends" with an ex?
Yes & No.
T H I S L O V E
Listen, I've had a lot of potential relationships and a couple of the real deal relationships. Am I friends with any of my exes? Not really. I am friends with some of the potential relationships (ie: those silly 2 month 'try and fail' relationships) just because we realized that being friends was a lot better than trying to continue down the road to hell that we created. So, it was mutual and I praise them every time I see them happy with another girl. I am genuinely happy that they are happy. So this is the yes part. There is a great chance that you will be able to establish a friendship out of an almost lover that ended on good terms. Hell, I call some of my almosts with relationship questions and they do the same. Sometimes it just works.
A L M O S T L O V E R S
With that being said, there are those almost lovers that have compromised your emotions in a way that makes you look at them as a different person. You got hurt. You got lead on. You got cheated on. RED FLAG - Delete those horrible people off every social media site and delete those 10 digits out of your smart phone. These people didn't care about you to the potential you could have been cared about at the time when you were giving your all. They don't deserve the 20 minutes of initial sadness you will feel. They do deserve the eternal grudge that will attach itself to that person, but take it easy. You don't need to go tell the world about how horrible they are. My father has always told me, "never let them know what you're thinking." There's something smart in that. Every person on this planet wants to be thought about in some way, good or bad, so don't give that to them. LET ME BE BLUNT - you two will never be friends. How they made you feel will forever attach itself to that person. It's over; dunzo. Move on.
F I R S T L O V E
I don't mean to be super blunt when it comes to this, but do not ever let yourself believe you can be just friends with a first love. Ever. Ever. Ever. That one person helped shape who you are today. They taught you lessons and they pushed and pulled your emotions and beliefs into a lose lose tug of war fight. You figured out what you want out of life and better yet what you deserve out of life from this person. They are a special part of your life. That one person you won't ever forget and in some sad cases, the one that got away. BUT MELISSA, WHY WON'T THIS WORK OUT? You know this person inside and out. You've shared so many good memories and in most cases some not so good memories. You love them for their flaws and for the way they smiled at you the night you had your first kiss with them. THAT DOESN'T SOUND SO BAD - It's toxic. Those feelings of a first love is scared into your heart. It won't go away. Jealousy and bad intentions are what flair up from such a past relationship. The what if's begin to surface and that new person that they're taking pictures with and posting all over social media just fuels this fire. A friendship is doomed with your first love. I'm sorry to tell you this. You deserve better and someone refreshing. Drama free. Someone who is on the same level as you. Someone you can share new memories with.
At the end of the day it's very hard to determine if you can be just friends with an ex. It all comes down to the type of ex that they are and the way the relationship ended. Make good choices. Keep your heart on lock.